Copyright 1997 -- Robert Baer Jr. 


Dinosaur Journal
 
             W A R N I N G     ------    D I S C L A I M E R
 
The story that follows is PURE FICTION, it DIDN'T REALLY HAPPAN (except in
my mind)
The presentation is intented ONLY for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES and IS NOT
REALLY
MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY.  It illustrates an internal struggle of
the mind.
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  The Dinosaur Chronicles --- 

Prologue:

Once upon a time in the wonderful world of cyberspace a dinosaur roamed...
not any ordinary
dinosaur, but a Computer Dinosaur!  One who loves DOS and TRS-80
computers, a 
relic of a different era.  He was quite different from everyone else, a
big 10 ton dinosaur
living in a human world.  This is his story, a story not quite as bizzare
as it sounds.

This is one entry from his "daily journal":

Entry # 123 
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One morning I was outside working on my garden, "this long neck of mine
sure does come in handy when it comes to digging rows in the ground" I
thought as I buried my massive head yet again in the dirt.  "A rather
unique way of tilling soil, isn't it?" said a strange-looking man
dressed in a Zorro outfit.  As I lifted my head up out of the sod, I said
"Computer Renegade!,
what are doing here?" 

 "I have come to take you to an emergency meeting, my four legged friend,"
stated the Renegade,"seems you are in a bit of trouble in this world."  

"Trouble?" I said,"What do you mean? What have I done wrong?" 

The Computer Renegade produced a small, black device from his pocket and
pressed one of it's buttons.  Immediately I heard a loud BANG and the
Renegade and I were standing in front of a strange-looking cave. 

 "What happaned?" I asked, "and where are we?"   I looked around,"this
place doesn't seem familiar to me." 

 The Renegade smiled and said "That's because we're in LIMBO, the place
where you and I were first 'thought up.' And before you ask me, my scaley
friend, I summoned you because your old friend, the Computer Counsellor,
wishes to speak to you, she's waiting for you in the cave.  Now if you'll
excuse me, I must go break up a fight.  The Computer Gila Monster and
Xeren Zzoom are at it again,  arguing over 'peanut butter sandwiches'
again.  You'd think they'd be more careful, after the Monster stomped
Xeren's gizzard and Xeren hit Gila with all those rocks.  Oh well, I hope
they don't have Blue Cross of WV health insurance!  So long, dinosaur, I'm
be back later." 

 As I turned toward the cave, the man in the strange Zorro outfit
disappeared. 

    In the cave, I sat on a stone couch and began sipping tea with the
Computer Counsellor,
a wonderful lady I had met right after my divorce.  She had been watching
my activities, and
had a surprizingly strong grasp of my current situation. 

 "So you thought you could discuss the abortion topic without making
people upset, did you?" the Counsellor said.  "Dinosaur,didn't you realize
that this subject invokes very strong passions on both sides of the
debate? This isn't an easy topic like sports or the weather, people have
very, very strong reactions to the abortion issue, many view it as a truly
'life or death' struggle, while others say it's a women's rights issue.  
It's no wonder your opinion caused such an uproar." 

 "But all I wanted to do was discuss the issue, that's all," I said, still
rather stunned at her knowledge of my activities. 

 "Look, big guy, you made one big mistake with your approach to this
debate, you got emotional.  You have a big heart and you wear it on your
sleeve too often.  Never let
your emotions rule you." 

"When I thought of the issue, the first person I thought of was Mrs.
Lovejoy," I said sadly.  

"That's Miss Lovejoy, remember, they just got divorced recently," the
Cousellor added,"I know you were very good friends of both she and her
ex-husband."

 "I know", I said even sadder than before, "I attended their wedding, I
was there at the hospital when their child was born, I was even there the
day that Mrs Lovejoy told her husband about the rape!  She asked me to
leave the house, so I went home and prayed 
so hard for them!   My heart went out to them both, but especially her! 
It wasn't fair!" 

 "Calm down!" the Counsellor implored,"see, this is exactly what I'm
talking about!"  

"But all her friends rejected her!" I muttered.  "Some of members of her
church called her a liar, a slut and a whore while many of her relatives
doubted her story, and if she'd ended up pregnant..." 

"But she didn't, did she?" roared the Counsellor, "why are you getting all
worked up about this for?"

"She didn't deserve this!", I screamed,"she didn't deserve to be attacked,
and look at all that's
happaned since -- they're divorced, like I am." 

 "Your situation was different, your mate was unfaithful," replied the
Counsellor.  

"But the thing that destroyed their marriage was the rape!" I
yelled,"don't you see, the pressure and pain really got to her, I watched
it happan slowly over time.  Her husband was very supportive, in spite of
many of his friends who constantly told him to leave her!  I watched the
whole beautiful marriage crumble right before my eyes, and if that creep
would've made her pregnant, I don't know how Mrs Lovejoy could've handled
it!  Sometimes I wish I was a carnivore, I'd chew her attacker up and spit
him out all over!"

 "Snap out of it!," yelled the Counsellor, "Enough!   I can see a lot of
anger in those big eyes of yours, dinosaur, but relax and listen to me. 
Even if you won the agruement on this topic, will that bring the Lovejoys
back together?  Will that erase all of her pain and suffering she's gone
through?  Think with me now, big guy, would it make one bit of difference
to them?"

Fighting back tears, I said "I wish I could do something.  It's like I
watched all this happan on the
other side of a huge pane of glass.  I wanted to help, wanted so bad to
change things, it's
like I was banging my front feet into that glass, desparately wanting to
stop this from happaning, but I couldn't break through!   Why did this
have to happan?  Why?"

The Computer Counsellor sighed,"That's it, isn't it?  You're still not
over it, are you?  This whole
discussion got you thinking about the Lovejoys again, didn't it?  Look,
the past is the past.  Like it or not, it can't be changed.  Your anger
and frustration demonstrate the fact that you care, but you have to let it
go, Dinosaur, you have to let it go!"

"I can't let it go!", I bellowed,"I don't want this to ever happan to any
other woman!  I saw what it did to ..."

"Alright, alright, I understand," the Counsellor said as she put her hand
on my shoulder," If I had the time, I'd stay here and talk to you, C.D.,
but I must leave soon.  Please come over to my office Monday and we'll
talk more about this.  Until then, my friend, you better stay here and
think about what I've told you.  It appears to me that somehow you
reopened an old wound, and it still hurts, doesn't it?  Just calm down,
relax, and take it easy for a while.  
 I'll see you Monday, OK?"  

  As I sat and pondered what the Counsellor had told me, the Renegade
walked into the room.  "Have you been able to talk any sense into him," he
asked the Counsellor.  "Well, I think I'm making some progress," the
Counsellor answered, "at least he realizes what's wrong now."
The Computer Renegade looked at the Counsellor and said, "it's time to go
now, we've given the big guy enough to think about." "Goodbye, old friend,
remember to be at my office early
Monday morning," the Counsellor said.  "We care about you, you big
lizard!," the Renegade
added,"I'll come back and look in on you from time to time, OK?"

 "Thanks, y'all!" I said softly, "I'll try to get past this, it may take a
little time, but I'll survive.  Hey, I'm a Computer Dinosaur, ain't I? I
survived Windows 95 and the Internet, didn't I?  I'll be alright. Thanks,
y'all, for bringing me here, and I'll keep my apointment, Counsellor. 
Goodbye!"   

 I watched as the Renegade used his "black box" and he and the Counsellor
vanished before my eyes.  I thought to myself as I stood alone in this new
cave, "how does he do that?"  I guess anything is possible in this world,
even being a talking dinosaur! 

End of entry.
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